Being a parent is bloody hard work, I did know this before I became one but now I reallllly know it. So I am very mindful not to judge parents or any parenting. But, this I just can’t get my head around.
I’m going to try not to have to big a rant.
Siblings attending parties has been a ‘thing’ as long as I have been doing kids parties (and that’s a long time) but in recent months I have seen some parents really take the party ring biscuit.
I’m not saying every parent who takes their children along to a party of their siblings should be put in the same box (and of course I’m not talking about babies here). I have seen on quite a few occasions siblings sitting to the side of the room with toys or game of their own and even with a packed lunch. This of course tends to be the older children who can understand why they cannot join in with the fun. If there was no option but for them to come along and parents have planned on how to manage the party then high five to them, I’m sure they would rather not be in that situation in the first place.
As an entertainer, It can be very hard to tell who is a sibling and who is a child that is a bit shy and doesn’t want to join in. When I go around the room at the start of the party with the bubbles encouraging the watchers to get popping it amazes me when parents don’t let me know they are not a guest. I am literally not being paid to worry about your child at this party.
A few weeks ago I arrived early for a party to dress the party table, put up decorations and I also provided the party bags. I went around the room encouraging all the children to join in which they did. Half way into the first section of the party during the Superman Dance I thought there is no way this is 20 children. I did a count as they were having a boogie and we had 24.
I had only set the table for 20 children and provided 20 party bags as this was the guest list provided and of course the number the parents expected. We had to rush to get an extra table and chairs out which of course didn’t look as nice as the table laid with colour matching clothes, plates, runner and sprinkles. And it was stress that was not needed.
WHY would any parent think that that is ok. To bring siblings along to the party and let them join in with all the entertainment and sit at the party food table. I find it totally baffling.
And when it comes to party bags that’s even more stressful. You either order or provide more than needed just in case or know you might have to deal with a mini meltdown when some siblings don’t get one. Again, some parents deal with this very well and tell their children in advance they won’t be getting one and explain why but honestly this does not happen as much as it should (which is all the time!)
I have about 100 other sibling related stories from the years but as I said I am trying not to rant. So my sibling party rules are below.
- Do not bring siblings to a party
- If you must (you can’t get child care, someone else to take them ect) then check with the birthday child’s parents first, there could be reason why they might need to say no.
- Take their own party food (unless the birthday parents have said they are welcome to eat)
- Take toys and games to keep them entertained
- Explain to them where they are going and why they can’t join in (unless you have been told they can)
- Explain to them why they won’t be getting a party bag and maybe even make your own one up for them to take with you.
- If there is an entertainer make it clear to them they are not a party guest – I will always make a balloon model for siblings but then at least I know not to spend any time trying to get them to join in.
The thing is I’m sure the people reading this are not the ones who do it anyway. Sigh