everything I wanted i have… and yet

Everything i wanted i have…. and yet

Almost all the things i wanted last year, 3 years ago, 5 years ago (and i mean on the real list, not the win the lotto list) i have. And yet i have a whole new list and i’m not really appreciating the other stuff.

I momentarily appreciate it.  I look at Neive and think holy cow she is just the best thing in the whole world and I’m bloody lucky (we lost a baby pre Neive and then it took 18 months to conceive). I think wow don’t we live in a lovely area (we had a two bed flat before this and i love our garden and local walks), i remember i run my own business, scrap that, i run two businesses (and that was a mega dream of mine and they have been bigger than i ever expected).

But life just moves on and we want more things.

Is it the Amazon effect i wonder? Life just moving super fast.

I work fairly hard at keeping myself in check these days, i take a breath when there is a long queue in the shop, when i think customer service isn’t as good as i think it could be and when someone does something silly on the road.

I guess this is why mindfulness is becoming such a big thing. A way to take yourself out of yourself for a little bit, and focus on the great stuff in your life.

I’m going to have a little challenge with myself. A focus for me this October is going to be starting the day with a list of the things i am doing well, that I’m looking forward to and that are great about my life. And then I’m going to look at my days to do list and plan it out with the realisation that i will not get it done and it will all be just fine.

Hopefully that will ease the sense of dread i have been feeling about not getting thongs done or what the future holds.

Let see, hopeful it will bring with it some clam.

Ellie x